Here I go. Traveling back home. A nurtured overall sensation. Despite the fatigue. It is impossible to start telling anything about this magic experience, without welcoming and giving space to a profound sense of gratefulness towards all of you organizers.
Yes, I think you succeeded in creating a setting/context where each one of us could be welcomed and welcoming, listening and expressing, meeting oneself and meeting the others from inside, nourishing one another,supporting a process which, I think, can only be and develop as an individual and common pathway if it includes diversities. Maybe that is why a word shows up again right now: inclusive. It was to me an “inclusive meeting”, not an exclusive one, like I'm used to attend normally.
There is also an image that arises, now, connected to the departure. Everyone of the group since yesterday afternoon left Villa Spadara, Ischia, some left Italy, some Europe … and we are bound to so many different places in many different directions: it could be rays shining from a central point, a sun, a star…and, if I stay with it, it becomes an Aikido Master ready to move in any direction, or just doing a somersault in his wide trousers.
I experienced the 3 days as one big focusing. The team never seamed to drag anyone really anywhere, we all circulated in a natural and smooth way, there was always space for everybody, one never had to necessarily follow any other one. So this process–oriented sensitive happening grew more and more into a materializing shape and I felt more and more reached, affected, met and meeting, seen and seeing.
In my own workshop with the violin a wonderful shift took place (thanks, Steve, once again, for taking me off the hook at the beginning). I found the solution on how to play the instrument smilingly and happily, far away from the ‘old ways’ of Bach and Haendel. Sylvie who participated in the workshop even wants me to come and smile in Paris….
On the level of experimental groups the most powerful experience was the presentation or our sound research result. Out of an utterly chaotic, ill–sounding (I once had to flee the cacophony) and self–centered heap we were able to move together into a very powerful, common direction with an amazing beauty. So I think once more that chaos and order need each other and that this kind of experimenting would not have been positive for less experienced and less stable people, or then with a clearer structure.
I have of course many many memories of Ischia. The extraordinary place for a start, with so extraordinary people working there to study positive methods of farming — this emphasised the comfort if felt already, it gave me air and space as well, and a down to earth friendliness, a kind of peace in my heart.
The look out of the bedroom window was like on a cheating prospect: there was only grass outside my window and a lovely view onto the sea. The moonlight glittered on the water and I knew Capri was just around the corner. — The beds were marginal and there could have been more blankets around, but never mind!! I slept well! I suppose for a low budget the food was rich, but slightly boring — but never mind!! I didn’t starve!! The expressos at the bar tasted heavenly and that you can only have in Italy.
Ischia will affect my work more and more. Not only could I experiment whether focusing was a tool for any instrumentalist (it is a skill which also one has to carefully think how to integrate.) Having had the opportunity in Ischia of watching and assisting such a large number of people from so many professions and ages and have the common denominator of focusing, not only relates me better with my surrounding and the universe, but makes me more loving at times.
At first, I was surprised and then anxious and suspicious about the way the whole event was about to be, because I was not used to participate in meetings without any kind of agenda (ok, my prior experience of “fixed scheduled” events interfered and triggered also a bit of self–doubt on the choice I made to participate). Then, while the organization committee was explaining the way the everyday schedule would be formed, I could not figure it out using my imagination and that triggered a familiar feeling of self–inadequacy. The need to control came across with the face of helplessness!
But all the above was put aside as soon as collective action was taken in order to find our way. THEN IT WAS THE MIRACLE — still now I cannot analyze mentally the wise and gentle way of everything taking its place and leaving the process to do it’s job! I can say:
In general:
Furthermore, the Villa itself was so beautiful (ok, I admit I will miss the cakes!!!) — the perfect place for such an event. Also, the fact that we were the only residents there, made me be more focused on myself and the experience of the meeting — a little vacation to an earthy paradise!! Moreover the travel information was so helpful (I came all alone there) and also the way responsibilities were divided.
Finally, I would like to thank all the participants, the organization committee and especially all the people I worked with — even if I do not mention them here, and I hope I’ll have the chance to meet you all again in the future. Also I would like to tell you I am sorry I could not talk at the last meeting we had but I was feeling so touched of the whole experience I could not say a word on how important was for me to share it with you!